The Perfect Girl

I'm back and I've got beef.

I'm thinking this could a bit of a rant today sass kings and queens. Hold on to your hats. 

As the weather is slowly getting warmer (still pretty wet tho cheers England!) we are known for getting a little bit more skin out and in turn exposing ourselves, in more ways than one...

Let's start with a grim subject, get it out the way nice and quick?! Sweat. WE ALL DO IT PEOPLES. Perspiration for the nation. For me this means absolutely no grey to be worn out of the house. A light grey marl is the most obvious for those underarm patches, and I just don't have time to be standing under a hand-dryer to sort myself out!

Also, sweat + make-up = curdled face. Not a good look and quite frankly unavoidable, yeah I know we have these 'setting sprays' now, but do they really work? Why can't everything stay in place all day?

Second of all, body hair. As you can probably tell, I have a lot of hair on my head. And I'm not saying I have a lot of hair everywhere, don't all jump to conclusions and start imagining me as the gorilla woman. (STOP IT) But the upkeep for us in general, is SO LONG. We can hide all of our bodies in knitwear throughout winter, but as soon as Mr sun has got his hat on, we have all got to get our flesh out to cool down. So I am seriously considering laser therapy because no matter what hair removal I try, it's just a pain. Shaving = itchy, cream = itchy, waxing & epilating = long and painful. Help a girl out plz. 

I know we shouldn't be ashamed of our body hair and its natural, evolution and all that blah... But it just annoys me! Maybe I'm not ready to accept it and I'm stuck in a female gaze, idealistic mindset? Maybe it's Maybelline.

Spots? Oh my lord, its never ending, one goes, another pops up. Horrendous. Cover them up with makeup? Oh but that clogs your pores and leads to more… I mean, what a vicious cycle. WHYYYYY for the love of sweet baby Jesus. WHY?

I think we all feel a huge pressure to look and act a certain way, thanks to excessive retouching and false advertising of the “perfect” girl. However, more and more now, untouched campaigns are being used, people of note are calling bullshit on this look and content is more relatable to the everyday person. AND ITS BLOODY FANTASTIC. 

Remember Fergie from the Black Eyes Peas pissed herself on stage? - I mean, we all gotta go when we gotta go!

X-tina had a sweaty fake tan / period (I can’t remember what it was) incident during a formal performance. -  Its natural! You hot? You sweat. You woman? You period. 

OWN IT. 

p.s. Look at me, I bloody tripped over my own feet in the first photo. Hilarious!

p.p.s. apologies for the absence, I shall explain all in my next post. 

p.p.p.s. lol that you can still see the creases in my trousers from where they have been folded. I'M NOT PERFECT!